


tiny pockets of light, held close and tight

by lastphanhope



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 16:23:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5504582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lastphanhope/pseuds/lastphanhope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: “ Phil thinks he knows everything about Dan until the younger wakes up and surprises him, unapologetic and beautiful everyday.”<br/>OR- 5 things Dan and Phil haven’t told each other yet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	tiny pockets of light, held close and tight

**Author's Note:**

> Words: 848
> 
> A short fluffy drabble type piece. 
> 
> No triggers but if there’s any i need to add please please tell me <3

Dan tallies a list up in his head and there’s at least nine things he hasn’t told Phil yet. He hasn’t told him these because he knows that maybe on some level Phil already knows. He doesn’t think he could tell Phil for the fear of rejection, because rejection burns hot in Dan’s throat, claws down his throat and reaches his heart. 

He knows if he were to get rejected by Phil that they would remain friends and flatmates, they mean too much to each other to disregard that. 

;;;;;

Dan knows the exact way Phil’s breath hitches right before he wakes, with fluttering eyelashes and deep sighs. He sometime he imagines he hears it, in the dead of night and he still isn’t asleep, eyes burning and mind drifting.

;;;;;

Phil normally breaths about eight times in between each sip of coffee he drinks, it’s like he counts but Phil has a short attention span and he can’t concentrate on that and the Friends rerun currently playing. Dan knows it’s a sub conscience thing but he counts along anyway.

;;;;;

Dan knows the exact way Phil’s shoulders curve. The edges sharp, quick turns in Phil’s anatomy. His shoulders are broad, they pull at some shirts, borrowed off Dan, stretching across his chest. He knows how they feel under his hands tough yet reassuring. A lot like the feel of home. 

;;;;;

He falls in love with him everyday, the way Phil’s lips move when he speaks, smiles, laughs, grimaces. The way his body moves, soft but clumsy, hypnotic. The way his cheeks flush when he laughs, his shoulders falling backwards following his head. The way Phil cares and helps without even knowing, showing unconditional kindness that Dan wishes he could return. 

;;;;

The way Phil’s voice shakes when he’s angry, his balled up fists copying. His voice scratches it’s way out of his throat, deep and resentfully low. 

;;;;;

Phil thinks he knows everything about Dan until the younger wakes up and surprises him, unapologetic and beautiful everyday. 

;;;;;

Phil knows the exact pad of Dan’s feet as they appear during the night, bringing him to Phil’s bed, soft and not meaning to wake. Phil wakes up at the first creak of Dan’s door across the hall. He’s attuned to the shuffle of Dan’s feet as he makes his way to Phil’s bed, curls up and stays till the sunrises. He’s gone then because he doesn’t like to talk about such things, maybe he thinks Phil hasn’t noticed. 

;;;;

Phil saw the way Dan sat first, neat but comfortable, despite his height. He knows the way Dan’s legs fold when he sits on the arm chair, the way they stretch out along the sofa, they way the curl to his chest when he sleeps. He remembers talking to Dan that first time on Skype and seeing the way Dan’s laptop was balanced on his legs haphazardly, he still does it and sometimes it makes Phil’s chest ache with forgotten possibilities.

;;;; 

Phil knows exactly what to say to makes Dan’s dimple appear, to make him laugh, loud and obnoxious. It pops out when he laughs and when he smiles, wide and showing all teeth. It pops out when he’s concentrating, pinching his lips together and a crease between his eyebrows that Phil wants to smooth away with his thumb. Its there when Dan’s faces scrunches up into a sob, Phil wants to forget that one though.

;;;;

Phil remembers the way Dan’s fingers feel against his skin. Hot and firm, likes he’s leaving dents in his shoulders when ever he hugs him, in his arm when he turns to Phil, the back of his hand when he grabs it in apology. It’s like there’s a phantom of Dan left behind when he’s gone to taunt Phil.

;;;;

If Phil were to own any artistic talent he thinks he could draw the shape of Dan’s lips better than his own.

;;;;

They don’t end up telling each other any of this, the keep it hidden in pockets of light, store it behind their lungs, breath them out on each exhale without telling. They learn to show each other their love, Dan stops slipping out Phil’s bed at sunrise, curls up to Phil instead, grips his hand, Dan ends up there at the beginning of the night as the years go by.

They learn that forever is short and they shouldn’t have wasted so long on doubts and anxieties. It doesn’t matter now, their breakfasts are filled with kisses and tired breaths and Friends reruns except now they sit next to each other, knuckles occasionally knocking against each other. 

They still hold the unspoken things close, held tight, unwilling to be let go, ties them together with hope and promises.

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on tumblr!! (lastphanhope)


End file.
